One. Some.

Kamu!

Ya, kamu!

Yang liat dan baca tulisan ini!

Kamu yang harusnya disini,
buat aku meraung-raung
di tengah segala penat, lelah, kesal dan ...

Semua kebutekan dan kesumpekan yang udah memuncak!

Kapan kamu pernah hadir?

Capek dan bosan
Tiap malam hanya bantal guling empuk itu
Yang jadi sasaran tinjuku

Sesekali mau yang hidup layaknya kamu
Biar bisa kuucek-ucek rambut hitam itu
Sekedar kukecup kening dan pelipis
Melingkarkan tanganmu untuk mendekapku
Agar ketika ku terjaga dari mimpi-mimpi buruk itu
Ada kamu yang mengusap dan mengajak tidur lagi ...

Dimana aku bisa ikut menangis melihat Aceh porak poranda
Dimana kamu bisa dengan semena-mena meminta
Agar aku gak pecicilan
Atau keganjenan

Emang pernah?!

I wish!

Kumaki, kucaci
Kutinju, kupeluk
Kudekap, kucium
Kucuekin, kutelpon
Kusuapin, kubiarin nunggu.

Aku egois.

-- a season has walked on by / yet your shadow remains / traceable in every sense / to survive is to remember / that facial thing / linking all my pains --

Let's Write!

Alhamdulillah buat para inventor blog ini, karena bisa cuap-cuap di tengah keramaian dunia maya.

Mau didengerin atau ngga, itu urusan belakangan, karena yang penting dengerin kata hati dulu tho?!

Tapi kalo kata hati berasa mati, apa yang mau ditulis?

Dan inilah yang menjadi kendala salah seorang blogger yang ngga mau disebutin nama dan blognya, karena ingin merahasiakan identitasnya sebagai seorang Batak asli Jakarta yang lancar ngomong bahasa Sunda dan lagi terpukau melihat kebohay-an dan kelumay-an aset tubuh beberapa rekan kerjanya yang selalu membuat dirinya tersenyum mesum di tengah siap-siap meeting (!!!), dimana dia ngerasa sudah mati hati ngga ada intuisi buat maenin keyboard sekedar orat-oret beberapa kata di papan putih blogspotnya.

Nah, padahal dari situ udah ada kan bahan tulisan yang bisa diumbar dan diungkapkan, sampe kadang di tengah hectic atmosphere of work namun pasang MSN Messenger masih jadi kewajiban ini perlu dikasih hint bahwa:

+ Lah, ini elo lagi ngobrol ama gue, elo kan MENULIS
- Tapi kan ngga sama, Pal
+ Haduh, elo cut paste aja lah omongan kita!
- Tetep laen rasanya

Untunglah dia udah mulai bangkit dari mati suri, apalagi Natal ini dia pulang ke ranah tempat sanak saudaranya di bilangan Jakarta Pusat, pasti banyak cerita, kalaupun ngga banyak, paling ngga saya akan tetep diem, apalagi kalo udah disogok pake setoples bawang goreng.

Bahkan Acay yang seatap rumah dengan saya pun sampai perlu nulis kuburan sendiri di blognya, kematian menulisnya sampe perlu dikeramatkan karena kematian menulisnya berarti sama matinya dengan tidak ada bacotan Jawa yang menghiasi indra pendengaran saya tiap harinya sambil rebutan jatah nyuci, tempat jemuran, giliran mandi ...

Apa yang bikin kita susah nulis?

"Ngga ada bakat".

Oh ya? Rasanya koq susah diterima akal, apalagi buat para kaum urban yang notabene menghabiskan waktu di tempat kerja, apapun itu, dengan menulis memo atau email yang berhubungan dengan kerjaan, mencatat pesanan, rumpi-rumpi berbumbu diskusi dan gosip di Yahoo Messenger, maupun sekedar nulis SMS buat janjian ketemu atau selingkuh.
Bukankah blog ini adalah lahan lapang punya kita dimana tempat kita bebas menuliskan apa pun yang kita mau? Apa pun itu, sampe ucapan terima kasih atas penulisan skripsi di blognya Barrie yang membuat saya pengen membujuk dia buat nulisin satu skripsi di blognya, lha wong saya ga pernah ngerasain nulis skripsi itu gimana!

"Ngga ada waktu"

Maklum lah kalo yang ini, kadang waktu 24 jam itu pengennya diulur jadi 26, 28, 30 ... alah, ngga pernah puas ntar!Apalagi dengan gaya hidup orang kota seperti saya yang pulang kantor jarang sekali langsung pulang ke rumah kalo ngga inget ada utang setrikaan seminggu ato utang nonton DVD yang musti dikembaliin ke Esplanade Library kalo ngga mau kena denda $1/ hari.

Atau mungkin kesibukan kerja yang mengharuskan kerja romusha (in disguise lho!) seperti mas Rio yang sering dikira orang mirip anggota F4 walopun jiwa Soneta Group ini.
Sambil mencuri-curi waktu di tengah kerjaan numpuk, beberapa kali terungkap di tengah curhatan panjangnya (curhat panjang, sodara-sodara, ngakunya kerja! hihihihi) kalo dia udah punya banyak ide tulisan yang mau dia publikasiin di blognya yang jadi arena ngumpul sejuta umat bloggers di dunia ini, layaknya juga blog mas Wisa yang lebih terkenal sebagai tempat chatting daripada update-an postingan, sampe dia perlu ngerasa nutup si blog buat sementara waktu!

Tapi rasanya waktu pun menjadi sesuatu yang perlu dipertanyakan, setelah kemarin sore, dalam suatu kesempatan langka nan ajaib, ada user manggil saya di YM dengan nick Ve, si manusia sibuk di dunia perfilman, dimana pas saya buka blognya, oh la la! Sejuta postingan baru yang mempertegas daya kreatifnya, semuanya bukan tulisan sembarangan, namun udah ngelewatin proses mikir cukup dalem kayanya (kaya'nya lho, Ve! Hahahaha!), padahal sungguh-sungguh waktu luang sepertinya jadi barang antik buat dia.

Ngga seperti saya memang yang asal bacot nulis ga mikir pokoknya asal maenin jari-jari diatas keyboard sebagai pelampiasan ngga pernah bisa maen piano, sehingga kadang sim salabim! Lima menit sebelum berangkat interview kerja pun pernah terjadi suatu tulisan dengan kualitas yang patut dipertanyakan, hahahaha!

"Ngga punya komputer sendiri"

WARNET! INTERNET CYBER CAFE!

"Ngga ada ide"

Kebetulan alam lahiriah membentuk saya sebagai orang bacot dalam tulisan dan lisan dimana akhirnya sering terjadi konslet antara otak dan mulut (dan tangan) karena apa yang udah terbentuk di kepala harus ngantri panjang di syaraf sebelum keluar dari bibir ditandai dengan banyaknya filial words kaya' "eeerrmmm" ato "eeerrr" ato "hmmmm" ato "eeeeeyyyy" ato pause lama.

Jadinya memang saya suka ngomentarin apa yang ada di sekitar penglihatan mata dan pendengaran, itulah kenapa meskipun ngiler tergoda ama barang-barang MP3 Player macem keluaran Creative ato iPod, tetep ngga bisa jadi barang yang harus saya beli, ngga biasa nutup kuping kalo pas lagi jalan, serasa terisolasi dari dunia luar, padahal saya seneng dengerin suara-suara lalu lintas ramai kalo lagi nyebrang deket City Hall, ataupun suasana konstruksi mesin di Nicoll Highway misalnya. Cukup lah saya mengisolasi diri dengan baca buku, majalah sampe leaflet kalo naek bis ato MRT sendiri.

Kebacotan ini juga yang bikin gawat karena mengakibatkan ketidaksabaran saya kalo bertemu dengan orang yang udah lama kenal dan akrab (bukan yang baru kenal lho!), dan terlibat percakapan seperti:

+ Eh gila, pa kabar elo?
- Gini-gini aja koq, ngga ada yang bisa diceritain
+ Duh, masa sih? Bukannya waktu itu elo pergi ke Langkawi pas long weekend? Gila, bukannya musim hujan gini loh, monsoon, bete dong elo di kamar hotel doang, bla bla bla ...

(interupsi: barusan liat Sayid goyang ngebor udah cukup bikin gue feeling dizzy and distracted, kalo ngga mau dibilang, ilfil! hihihihi)

Terus terang Philips terang terus, balik lagi ke tujuan orang bikin blog.

Mau nulis apa?

Beberapa blog hasil temuan dari blog-hopping memang terlihat jelas, seperti blog puitis dari mbakyu Ken ini yang menorehkan kata-kata indah bermakna yang sering jadi acuan saya untuk coba-coba bikin puisi.
Atau sekedar celotehan jenaka dari si teteh Karmela yang udah kenal 3-4 taun tapi ngga pernah ketemu walopun sama-sama satu pulau, atau review album seperti blognya Eko, the walking encyclopedia of music, atau sekedar tulisan lirik lagu yang sempet bikin saya kecele karena dikira puisi di blognya Rivaldi, atau catatan perjalanan seperti Azmin si murah senyum dan juga petualangan Luigi di benua lain, atau sekedar jadi diary selayaknya yang dipunyai banyak bloggers.

Jadi, sebelum diprotes ama Endang yang sering mencak-mencak karena kepanjangan isi tulisan, lebih baek saya sudahi dulu meskipun masih banyak ide bermain on both sides of my tiny little brain.

Sekarang?

Buka dashboard blog.
Click Create New Post dong.

Jari-jari udah di atas keyboard?

Apa yang kamu liat?

Tembok putih?
Tembok putih.

Bersih?
Lumayan.

Koq lumayan?
Abis masih ada kotoran nempel.

Ih pasti yang punya warnet jarang bersiin!
Kayanya gitu sih, abis warnet ini kan buka 24 jam, udah gitu rame lagi, mana sempet yang jaga warnet bersiin, pasti dia juga harus jaga kasir, belum lagi kalo ada komputer rewel, dia musti benerin juga, gimana-gimana juga namanya warnet gitu loh, masalah dekor gimana urusan ngga penting lah, kita juga pengennya dapet komputer cepet, internet cepet, yah ga pa-pa juga sih kalo misalnya tempatnya bersihan, lebih nyaman aja ngeliatnya, walopun namanya orang pake komputer, fokus pertama juga ke komputer, lingkungan sekitar sih asal ngga ganggu juga ga terlalu masalah koq ...

Met nulis ya! :)


-- dedicated to everyone, the thought of you all made seemingly bleak days of mine turn into colorful ones, the song I wish to present to you that I can think of now is ... masih terngiang di telingaku/bisik cintamu/betapa lembut dan mesranya/aku terlena/terlena/ku terlena ... --

WherE?

There is a place
High above the highest shelter of the bright skies,
That goes by the name of

Redemption.

There,
People breeze past through the empty roads
While comforting troubled souls
Of their own.

In which I never deny its existence
For this journey would always lead to its
Destination.
Wherever it may be,
Whatever it has to sacrifice,
Whoever we will become.

Open wide pathways,
Leaves falling like scattered ashes,
Cars parked at their utmost ease,
Words spilled out along with the wind,
Dogs barking seductively to their mates,
Grass! Much too much to be rolled upon!

Space need not be conquered
Time watches its habitant walking on by
Through the unspoken stillness
Peace.
Comfort.

So non-urbanite!


-- strolling along Portsdown Road and its branches on a windy Sunday morning, two kampung-spirited young men who go by the name of Cay and Nauval decide to surrender to the comfort of one fractured feeling: home --

-

when Mother Nature has spoken,
at her utmost pitch,
not even Goliath, nor David, nor Adam,
can resist the tidal waves.

lives have lost.
souls have been swept away.

inna lillahi wa inna ilahi raji'un.

my deepest condolences.

When.

I've to put the book down, while the journey was only halfway taken.
I've to lay my head down to the window that gives a shrill of breathtaking views.
I've to surrender my wandering thoughts.

Only to hum this:

When a man loves a woman,
Can’t keep his mind on nothin’ else,
He’d change the world for the good
Things he’s found.

If she is bad, he can’t see it,
She can do no wrong,
Turn his back on his best friend
If he put her down.

When a man loves a woman,
He’ll spend his very last dime
Tryin’ to hold on to what he needs.
He’d give up all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain,

If she said that’s the way it ought to be
Well, this man loves you, woman.
I gave you everything I have,
Tryin’ to hold on to your hot blood
Long.
Baby, please don’t treat me bad.

When a man loves a woman,
Down deep in his soul,
She can bring him such misery.

If she is playin’ him for a fool,
He’s the last one to know.
Lovin’ eyes can never see.
When a man loves a woman,
He can do her no wrong,
He can never hug some other girl.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

(in a world where gender-biased would be an outdated opinion, just change, alter, or do whatever you readers feel like doing with sexes)

Does being in an upheaval feeling mean stopping the logic to work in its own way?
Does being in ecstatic ride mean being blind?
Does being in one mean to refuse what other angles may bring?
Does that mean I have to stop questioning?

In a crowded world where people and their chatterings may see you differently, where the time has politely persuaded me in bringing my amazement to the extent what you may become, where innocent assumption could only clash to bitter-sweet reality, you remain as these things to me.

Wise.
Calm.
Independent.
Mature.
Caring.
Loving.
Patient.
Planner.
Leader.

In all dreamy qualities one can ask for, I stick to that particular imagery of your silhouette.
As well as to let you go.

Mein Name ist ...

Ijinkan saya bernarsis ria sedikit di hari Natal mulia ini, sambil tak lupa menghaturkan rasa hormat kepada mereka yang merayakan, berikut menunduk rasa dalam duka cita kepada para keluarga korban kecelakaan helikopter TNI Angkatan Udara (AU) di Jawa Tengah kemarin (courtesy of Liputan 6 SCTV).

Mungkinkah suasana Desember penghujung akhir tahun dimana orang berlomba untuk mempercantik diri dengan belanja dan refleksi mempengaruhi tulisan ini nanti? Sangat! Karena pada akhirnya saya ingin membuka suatu rahasia yang sebenernya bagi orang laen dianggep, "Duh, ga penting banget deh ih!"

Memang ngga penting, tapi apa daya, kalau hasrat menulis sudah di depan ujung kelingking, sayang rasanya kalau laptop yang sudah menyala semaleman nungguin download mp3 dianggurin gitu ajah tho? Jadilah ditemani Joss Stone, Mick Jagger dan Dave Stewart yang lagi bengok-bengok di WinAmp ini saya pengen menulis tentang ...

Now. Far.

Ayo sodara-sodari, diucapin berulang-ulang dalem hati ato keras-keras juga boleh selama ngga sampe didatengin penjaga warnet buat diusir ya ngga papa. Baca nama blog saya itu sambil selang-seling sama nama yang punya blog ini, yaitu ...

Nauval.

Nah! Ketauan sekarang kenapa saya namain blog ini dengan dua kata sifat itu. Kalo mo dianalisa pake ilmu linguistik berinterpretasi psikologis, monggo lho, kadang-kadang saya juga suka maen analisa tingkah laku orang koq, walaupun tujuan asalnya, biar kedengeran sama dengan nama saya, yang matur nuwun kalo ada yang bilang eksotis, unik, bahkan suka dipelesetin jadi Bopal, Empal, Gopal, asal jangan Ovaltine aja karena dari dulu direcokinnya pake Milo!

Tapi, se-eksotis ato se-unik apapun, tetep kesel kan kalo ngga ada orang yang bener-bener bisa nyebut nama itu dengan baek sesuai ejaan yang diinginkan bapak ibu saya? Dan itulah yang terjadi dari saya menginjakkan kaki di bumi Singapura taun 1999 sampe sekarang ini, NGGAK ADA yang bisa nyebut namaku ini dengan pas, benar, ga mlintat-mlintut! *menghela napas dalam sekalian ngurusin perut buncit*

Nova? Novel? Noufe? Nafa? Naval?

Nauval! /na:w - fa:l/

"Sorry, how to spell your name ah?"
"en-ei-yu-vi-ei-el"
"N A U V A L"
"Correct"
"Wah, so unique your name ah!" (Ga berani nyoba-nyoba pronounce!)
"Thank you, auntie."

Ato misalnya:

"Good afternoon! May I speak to ... eermm .. Nowfel? Nofa? Nowal?"
(sambil menghela napas lagi pokoknya kedengeran hurup N, F ato V, dan L)
"Yes, it's Nauval here speaking"

Dan disuatu penghujung taun 2003 pas kerja bantu pementasan Bibik Goes Broadway, setelah berulang kali si Stage Manager bingung manggil saya gimana, akhirnya saya jelasin:

"It's just like you say the words "NOW" and "FAR", only add 'l' sound at the end of the latter."
"Oh I see!"
(trus kurang ajarnya manggil para kru laen)
"Everyone! His name is NOW (sambil pake gaya tangan nunjuk kebawah) FAAARRR (sambil pake gaya tangan nunjuk ke arah yang jauh)."
Semua orang manggut-manggut sementara saya cuman senyum mesem nahan malu pengen getokin si Stage Manager dodol!

Akhirnya rekan-rekan kerja saya suka dengan seenak udelnya nyuruh ganti nama kalo pas berhadapan ama klien ato customer biar mereka gampang manggilnya. Biasanya nyuruh ganti nama ke Noel.
Maaf yang punya nama ini, nama bagus lho, bahkan dulu pengennya kalo punya keponakan cowok mau dinamain ini. Tapi lha wong nama saya ini udah susah-susah nyarinya, bahkan tiap pulang kampung pun, bapak saya suka ngajak saya sungkem sama satu orang ustadz sepuh yang dulu ngasih ide ke bapak buat ngasih saya nama bagus ini.
Jadi saya tetep keukeuh ga mau ganti nama, apalagi kalo nama saya sampe NAFA! Haiyah!
Lha koq sama kaya satu selebriti yang jijay bajay itu?!?!?

Jadinya inget dulu pas pertama kali masuk sini, jaman orientasi, disuruh ngapalin nama-nama Cina yang bacanya ngga sama ama tulisannya itu! Saya, Ayu, Onel, Rika, Nyile, Randy yang sama-sama anak Indo dan kebetulan satu group plus tinggal di satu blok sampe ngabisin satu malem khusus buat belajar nyebut nama-nama ini, sambil tetep saya ga habis pikir:
"Namanya kan Kum Chuen, tulisannya kaya gitu, koq bacanya Kam Cun sih, bukan Kum Chuen?"
Gubrak!

Mungkin kalo seperti housemate saya Acay, meskipun nama asli Cahyadi tapi by default dia selalu ngenalin ke orang-orang sebagai Cay, enak gitu ngomongnya, langsung meluncur kaya Cap Cay.
Atau seperti teteh Karmela yang panggilan singkatnya Mel, ngga tau dia ngenalin dirinya gimana, orang sini keplintir-plintir ga mbak kalo nyebut lengkap Karmela?

Soalnya meskipun udah dipersingkat jadi "NOV" (seperti layaknya orang rumah manggil saya), orang sini pun masih keplintat-plintut manggil "Naf? Nor?"

Duh!

Not. Just ...

Kamu pernah hadir.
Tapi tolong!
Kamu sudah pergi.
Jangan kembali.

Aku tidak pernah sekali atau dua
Mendatangkanmu.
Jadi biarlah apa yang dulu ada
Mengapung.

Sudahlah!
Kibasan ini ngga perlu ditepiskan
Atas nama segala rasa hormat
Percaya
Kebaikan
Kesejahteraan
dan segala bentuk Kehidupan
berikut Kepercayaan
sudah cukup yang dulu itu.

Terimakasih kalau aku memang pernah berarti,
Terimakasih kalau aku memang pernah tersakiti,
Terimakasih kalau aku memang pernah di ujung langit,
Terimakasih semua untuk sosok penampakanmu.

Tapi inilah yang terjadi.
Tolong jangan kembali.
Sekali lagi.


-- sejuta lagu cengeng dalam putaran otak --

10 DVDs in 2004

Notice how I insist in not using 'Top 10'? Why does it have to be 'top', suggesting that these 10 DVDs would be on 'top' of any other DVDs, while we can't help championing what many people have been campaigning: arts should not be put in competition. Again, this debate will drag on another issue how films have to be treated separately from 'arts', or have films achieved a special place in arts, it will just nicely serve the endless mind-boggling discussion while the ship has sailed away far from the intended destination ...

No ratings given (if your curiosity is really that freakingly high, ask me personally about the ratings I gave to these films) as I believe that such an intangible, fragile works have to be appreciated with an open mind and objective point of view, which will exclude any existence of numbers and figures.

No ranking orders either as they are scatteredly placed to avoid any preference, the fairness of arrangement that I can think of lies on the date of viewing itself.

These are 10 DVDs which gave me a thrill and pleasant film-watching experience that I personally will be more than excited to revisit and relive the experience:


Central Station (1998, Brazil)


What appears on the surface as a typical sappy flick of how a sudden appearance of a stranger in a woman's life would change her character and life altogether proves to be completely wrong.

Fernanda Montenegro in her worthy Oscar-nominated role shines in a chilling, uncompromising portrayal of an anti-heroine facing a tough life every second and minute of her life in the slums of Rio de Janeiro, only to be confronted with an innocent presence of a young kid hopelessly searching for his father, the journey taken together would be a trip their lives have been unknowingly prepared.

Walter Salles has all the good qualities in his hands, a tight, well-written script enhanced with a breathtaking, gorgeous snap shots of Brazilian panoramic view that only adds this already beautiful film an additional magic.

Touching, without being a tear-jerker.

Inspiring, without being preachy.

And finding oneself, without compromising honesty.


400 Blows (1959, France)


Anyone citing any films on growing-up-is-hard-to-go-through story would definitely have to include this psychologically brutal film mirroring reality in a convincing manner. An autobiographical of Francois Truffaut? Well, what is not autobiographical whenever we surrender ourselves to immerse in our works? A certain influence contributed in it would be marked in a certain extent, resulting how 'personal' your works turn out to be.

Which is what makes 400 Blows compelling to watch, something you can't even find in the future Antoine Doinel series as Truffaut may had been trapped into the dangerous territory of sequel-making. A continous threat, indeed.


Days of Wine and Roses (1962, USA)


To date, at the time of writing, a mere mention of the title, just the title, still gives me a shudder and a certain degree of ... fear. Fear of being one, an alcoholic. An acute alcoholic who worships the majesty atmosphere in being taken to a seemingly realm world of blunt and illusion. An acute alcoholic who seems to be unable to kneel down picking up the shattering life broken into puzzling pieces. An acute alcoholic who drowns himself, willingly and unwillingly at the same time, to a place of longingness and loneliness.

Mind you, this is a Hollywood film, the one that goes beyond a manufactured norm of censors, the one that was painstakingly created to give a chilling effect thanks to the superb performances from Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick who amazingly step into their character's skins, so much so that you can't help wondering, do they, or don't they? They might be doing the torture of themselves, which translated into an amazing showcase of pain and disgracefulness of alcoholism.

No smile, no laughter, no flirtatious look, no usual cracks of nice, sweet Lemmon.

No glance of beauty of those enviable blond hair of Remmick.

If you think Blake Edwards only does his best at Pink Panther series, think again. Think of how a master in slapstick, physical comedy will do in his darkest hour yet.

Repeated viewing? Think again.


Jules et Jim (1962, France)


How nice it is to see two entries from Francois Truffaut here, considering that I often detest his works made in 1970s to be exact, but along with 400 Blows, Jules et Jim marked his entry as an auteur in an era of what they refer as French New Wave cinema, a 'little' breakthrough in the history of filmmaking, unconventional, rebellious, yet you can't help reeling for more.
And who wouldn't fall in love, condemn, and empathy with Jeanne Moreau as she began to wane in the tragedy set by herself?

Being an audience of modern cinema myself, I can't help trying to trace how this film would evoke a sense of sentimentalism in a relationship-of-three going to make the companies overwhelmed by the outburst of emotional feelings a la Neil Jordan's The End of the Affair, or in a little shift of pace, Alfonso Cuaron's Y Tu Mama Tambien ...


His Girl Friday (1940, USA)


Even when I just began typing the title, I found myself smiling widely while staring at this notebook, rekindling the good memory still lingers on my mind when I remember how jolly it was watching this film, enjoying every single minute, and I mean every second of chattiness, witty lines and everything that makes this cleverly written film as a towering landmark of screwball comedy.
Not even today, way past of Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan era or at the hype of Before Sunset and such, can romantic, comedy, or combination of both make a good use of punchlines which are skilfully crafted and catered at a great speed that wouldn't leave you a hiss of chance to catch your breath from laughing.

Cary Grant, being an actor named Cary Grant himself, may be only doing what he does best as usual: suave, charming, a gentleman's gentleman who dares risking himself as an object of ridicule while still maintaining his charisma that will surely sweep off every ladies' feet and be envied by other guys in the room, but in doing so, he couldn't be any better here under the masterful direction of Howard Hawks, whom I have to tip my hat off in being one of the few directors who defined romantic comedy itself along with the likes of Ernst Lubitsch and such.

Of course, in an era of tough woman, Rosalind Russell bares and blends herself whole-heartedly in her Hildy Johnson character, a smart, sassy, independent, smart journalist Hollywood can only dream of, which would forever be carried over to her other performances, notably those she did superbly in Auntie Mame and Gypsy.

Not even just a filler for your rainy Saturday afternoon, I can see myself going to put it highly on my library ...


Zelig (1983, USA)


I was fooled!

Oh dear good old Woody Allen's films, how you never fail to amaze me, to the state of glee!

If you think that this time around Woody Allen still sticks his nose to usual theme of psychological problems of modern human beings in their own paranoia, narcissm, insecurities and longingness, all I can say is that you can be right, but you can be wrong as well. The subject, Mr. Zelig himself, no matter how you may analyze and interpret him as having a mentally-challenged mind, he lives and breathes himself like a chameleon. At least we've got one thing clear, but a mere narration of this story would only bury this film deep down underneath his other great works.

This time around, he made a documentary. Or shall I say, a 'documentary'? You watch it yourself, you decide, because I can't stop giggling now, a few months later, that ...

I was fooled! In a much delightful way!


Breathless (1960, France)


Jean Paul Belmondo in his dress-to-the-nine suit, that hat, that cigarette at the corner of his mouth, taking a stroll along a pedestrian corner in Paris, humming, only to be interrupted by the lovely sound of ...

"New York Herald Tribune!"

Jean Seberg in her tight T-shirt, short hair that strengthens her sassiness instead of being boyish, appearing from the right side, walking slightly brisky, and turning herself around Belmondo to begin their short, sweet, murderous affair ...

Those indelible images that captured and melted hearts of many filmgoers at that time, and until now, I am sitting here casting my mind back in one hot Thursday afternoon watching the two rascals indulging themselves in their own time that seems to stand still.

How I was transported to their world of dangerously addictive crime of passion without even realizing that a certain presence of a director did mastermind this all, and certainly the world would always welcome Jean-Luc Godard as the most prominent director, the most reliable and knowledgeable film scholars-cum-film critics the world of cinema would always be able to rely on for all his outsanding works that speak for one thing: a film can be unflinchingly cool.

Now I know why Bernardo Bertolucci was in despair of making a tribute by presenting this annoying film called The Dreamers ...


Young Frankenstein (1974, USA)


Not just a little giggle, I am now laughing!

Such a zany, insane yet brilliant this 'mad' man who goes by the name of Mel Brooks, master of parody whom Wayans brothers and other aspiring cheap comedy directors should take a lesson or two that parody itself need not be grossed out to generate good laughs. It all lies on the writings, that's what this madcap film trying to say, and how to make it comical at the same time.
One can only wonder what went on in Brook's mind when he directed the film, or rather, what were Gene Wilder and Brooks thinking?

A genius, a superb film indeed!

And do consider this trivia: The cast and especially Mel Brooks had so much fun and were so upset when principal photography was almost completed, that Mel added scenes to continue shooting.

See? I can't even give my proper comment here, hahaha! Ask me, just ask me personally! :)


Black Orpheus (1959, France/Brazil/Italy)


A Greek tale of Orpheus and Eurydice gets a Samba treatment that helps to launch and refine a new genre of Latin jazz as what we see today. Surprisingly faithful to the core of the original story, this film is as blatant as it can be in portraying the real low-life of Rio de Janeiro, completed with innocent, naive romances that would seem to go nowhere as their fate could only be destined and shattered by the Death, in a presence that seem to make a good joke of Ingmar Bergman's Seventh Seal. Still, with maddening and deafening projected images of that (in)famous Rio carnaval serve as a platform of the story, watching the film seems like surrounding yourself with a pulsating beats of laid-back jazz while sipping a fuzzy warm of chocolate coffee in one hot Saturday afternoon, yet you feel distance away from the reality as you position yourself under the shower of fabricated air.

Addictive.


Darling (1965, UK)


Many people would be quick to point out Midnight Cowboy should be considered as John Schlesinger's main breakthrough in presenting a gay character explicitly.
I place that notion to this film, on top of other sexual freedom wraps the film in a cold, unpretentious manner which greatly helped make the film stands the test of time, no matter how it is considered 'mild' by today's standard ... of what? Bare-it-all sex? Isn't it better to have it subdued?
And isn't it better to have it suited and tailored perfectly fitted to the era where the characters breathe their lives in?

Watching Julie Christie transforming herself on the mask of many characters we seem to be unable to trace the roots would only enhance my admiration to her terribly believable persona that she holds until today, a glowing innerself she projected out to the character she embodies well, and witnessing her breakdowns was one of the very few difficult times I had to bear throughout countless film-watching experience.

How can one envy of all the willingness to rebel in an era of being opressed while keeping the good elements of both sides ...

Afraid?

Tuhan,
ternyata lebih menyenangkan memakai logika
yang selama ini tersimpan rapi di seberang meja setrikaan
karena saya lebih memilih rasa jiwa yang membungkusi nafsu
menuruti apa yang orang anggap sebagai 'kata hati'
tapi nyatanya tak tersambung dengan akal pikiran yang jelas
letaknya paling atas menutupi ubun-ubun.

Tapi Tuhan,
kenapa sih Kamu bermain-main dengan nasib dan jatuh bangun manusia-Mu?
pelatihan mental sih bener,
tapi ketika saya tercampakkan di dalamnya,
waduh!
pertama seneng,
terus dah biasa,
terakhir malah pengen cepet-cepet menyudahi,
tapi beneran, masih bersyukur koq!
malahan,

aku kepengen lagi.
merasa apa yang dirasa dengan segenap-genapnya jiwa
yang berapa pun itu jumlahnya,
jiwa koq dihitung!
kalo dihitung berarti ada indikasi korban
sementara saya,
*menelan ludah*
tak mau (terlalu) berkorban untuk
mempunyai perasaan itu.

Tuhan,
sungguh yang Maha Adil!
menciptakan suatu keberanian yang kemudian
berbalik arah menjadi ketakutan karena rasa tidak percaya diri
karena penampakan yang Engkau anugerahi ini
ternyata masih ada yang memuji.
basa-basi.
maupun setulus hati.

Ah!
Tuhan,
let me play the fool again.
but don't let me be one.

Terima kasih karena yang ini telah datang,
Tuhan!
Meski meskipun masih mempertanyakan
Kenapa harus begini lagi?
Ah!

"I'm afraid to fall in love again."
"Or are you afraid to get hurt?"
"There's always the possibility, rite?"
"Two sides of a coin, remember that"

Oh Tuhan,
jangan biarkan Minnie Driver nyanyi lagi,
suaranya pas-pasan!
Tapi dasar manusia tukang kritik yah,
akhirnya saya malah humming lagu ini sepanjang malam ...
Mungkin, ya mungkin,
Belajar untuk sendiri, meski selama ini kesendirian lah yang membuat hidup lebih berisi ...

Child of the wilderness / Born into emptiness /
Learn to be lonely / Learn to find your way in darkness
Who will be there for you / Comfort and care for you /
Learn to be lonely / Learn to be your one companion
Never dreamed out in the world / There are arms to hold you /
You've always known / Your hope is on its own
So laugh in your loneliness / Child of the wilderness /
Learn to be lonely / Learn how to love
Life that is lived alone

-- alam kembara pikiran lah tempat dimana eksistensimu masih dan akan selalu meraja --

Scattered Words. 1

(Coffee Club Raffles City - sinful indulgence!)

P : I dunno, feel like being a girl means being like a Christmas
N : Eerrr .. I dun gedit
P : Aiyah, you know, like Christmas shopping lah! 21's getting interesting, 22's getting more ...
N : Ahahahahaha! 23's the peak rite?!
P : 24's sudden rush! panic time! 25 ... burst out!
N : Hiehieehahahahahahaha ! 26 overbloated already!
P : Hahaha, got it?
N : Ya lah, no need to worry, dear!

At the Movies with ...

+ Dingiiiiinnnnn!
- Iiiiyyyaaa ... Jaket gue cungkring gini, duh serasa nonton di Cine deh!

+ Hihihi, diubunginnya ama pelem terus! Elo demen nonton pelem banget sih!
- Ehehehehe ... Everyone has their own indulgences, darling, elo juga suka nonton pelem gitu loh!

+ Beda ama elo kali babe, di analisa, di review, di komentarin satu-satu, di data my goodness sake sumpah deh kebiasaan elo satu ini yaaaa ...
- Yah kan biar gampang gue inget-inget kapan gue nonton pelem ini, dimana, ama siapa, ada kejadian apa, tapi yang paling penting sih bacotan gue tentang pelem itu, ga bisa diem gue abis nonton pelem, at least on my mind.

+ Hihihihi, kirain elo bakal ngoceh-ngoceh sendiri pas elo nonton sendirian, kali gituh!
- Wakakakakakaka, giling! Eh tapi inget ga minggu lalu Dendry yang nanya kapan terakhir ketemu ama kalian-kalian, trus dia bilang "Kaya'nya baru minggu lalu kalian ketemu dah kangen-kangenan gini", trus elo bilang "Seminggu itu lama, you know!", dan gue nyambung "Iye, yang kita nonton ber-7 itu, tanggal 28 November di Lido, yang kita kepisah gara-gara ada yang last minute request dadakan yeee, dah tau masuk websitenya Shaw naujubile susahnya mo book tiket!", trus Dendry cuman bengong "Ya ampun, elo inget?" dan gue cuman senyum-senyum nyengir, "Yee, susah kali, tiap kali nonton gue catetin kapan dimana nyah!" Hihihihih!

+ Sial siul, nguik elo ye! Eh tapi pertama kali kita nonton bareng kapan yah?
- Jamdul banget jaman kuliah jaman gue masih ga ganteng, hihihi! Yang kalo nonton ber-10 ato ber-15, trus yang milihin pelem kalo ga si Aki, si Awong, sumpah selera pelemnya ga ada yang bener!

+ Muahahahaha, yo'eh! Apa aja tuh, "The Ninth Gate", trus "Mystery Men", eh elo pernah salah milih "Random Hearts" super ngantukin!
- Maap ama yang terakhir, gue pikir Sydney Pollack, can do no wrong! Tapi jazz score nya ngena tuh di gue, walopun sumpah itu pelem kaya udah di remove sendiri ama si sutradaranya. Si 'Mystery' gue ga nonton, kalo 'Ninth Gate' benernya OK koq, underrated gara-gara mereka sok bikin trailer yg bilang kalo ini pelem horror, jadinya orang ngarepin itu!

+ Yang bikin itu si sutradaranya The Pianist kan?
- He eh, bapak Roman Polanski.

(buzz! New message)

+ Eh tapi elo penonton teater juga gitu loh ...
- Haduh, frekuensi ga sesering pelem kali, cinta pertama gue gitu loh!

+ Doh sampe segitunya! Tapi iya sih, gue kalo pacaran juga nonton pelem lah, standar ...
- Hihihi, dudul, gue malah dari dulu ga pernah nonton ama pacar! Kuakakakaka ... Pacaran mana pernah nonton bareng gue, sedih, ga ada kenangan "gue dulu pernah nonton bareng pelem ini ama dia", yang ada malah pacar-pacar gue pada nanya "di sini lagi maen A B C D, ada yang elo rekomendasiin?" dan biasanya gue cuman jawab basa-basi "yah kalo elo suka action, mungkin elo consider B, kalo mo komedi, nonton si C", duh, ama pacar sendiri sok politically correct coba! Hihihihi ... Padahal dalem ati gue cuman bisa "najesh, pacar gue nontonnya pelem ginian?" Huahahahaha!

+ Ember! Duh untung gue ngerti elo ye, mana mau elo gue ajak nonton pelem-pelem model "Dude, Where's My Car?"
- Wakakakakaka! Si Copper dan pelem tolol paporitnya itu, sampe pasang poster di kamarnya! Kuakakakakaka ..

+ Huhuhuhu, emang nasib tuh anak dah garing, tontonan parah! Eh tapi elo demen "Scary Movie" ..
- Nyang pertama doang! Benernya gue suka juga pelem-pelem silly, selama mereka serius juga bikin silly nya! Duh, ga gampang kali bikin pelem komedi, kalo elo tau Billy Wilder ..

+ Sape lagi?
- Sutradara terkenal taun 50-an, dia sutradara hebat yang bisa bikin semua jenis pelem, nah, dia tuh bikin slapstick comedy "Some Like It Hot", ato komedi cerdas kaya "The Apartment", ato yang ga terlalu terkenal juga kaya "Irma La Douce" juga masih smart, witty ...

+ Smart? Witty? Kita lagi ngomongin pelem ato tipe pacar elo sih?!? Hahahahah!

(blush!)

+ So, tipe pelem bagus menurut elo apa sih?
- Haiyah! Nanya spesifik dong ah, bagus yang gimana?

+ Heh kebanyakan bacot elo ah, dah tau gue bukan film freak macem elo!
- Huhuhuhu, sorry deeehhh! Pelem bagus? Well, indikasi gampangnya nih, gue jadi pengen terlibat di pelem itu, hahaahaha! Gue pengen maen, jadi salah satu karakter, bayangin kehidupan gue kaya di pelem itu, hahahaha ... Geuleuh super deh gue! Misalnya nih kaya "Eliana, Eliana", gue bisa relate banget ama karakter-karakter disitu, karakter orang kota besar yang udah ga punya identitas kultural kan? Ato kalo ngga ya pelem yang bisa bikin gue tercengang, duh tercengang, ya yang bisa bikin gue melongo, speechless and stunned, soalnya pelem itu unik, endingnya biasanya yang bikin gue kaget, bisa jadi karena sesuai dugaan gue yang selalu gue mikir "kalo endingnya dibikin gantung, pelem ini jadi bagus!" which to certain films that kind of thing applies, dan yang norak lagi, gue tepuk tangan kalo pelem itu bagus! Hihihihihi ...

+ Boneng elo! Duh punya temen kaya elo berasa nonton layar tancep kelurahan jamdul!
- Situ anaknya pak Lurah yah yang suka muter pelem perjuangan kalo dah 17-an di lapangan bola? Hihihihi ... Eh iya, gue ga nyadar kebiasaan tepuk tangan ini, dulu nonton "L.A. Confidential" gue tepuk tangan, si Curtis Hanson emang gila bisa bikin film noir sebagus itu! Ato "Hable con Ella" nya Pedro Almodovar yang kaya lagi di tepi aliran sungai yang mengalun tenang, riak-riak kecilnya ga ngeganggu ...

+ Huaaa! Musti nonton neh gue!
- Banget! Oh tema pelem yang gue suka juga ini nih, berkisar ke reminiscence of glorious old days in cinema!

+ Erm, maksud elo?
- Pelem tentang pelem. Ato ttg kejayaan pelem jaman dulu. Kaya "Cinema Paradiso" yang indah itu, bahkan gue punya certain weakness buat "The Majestic" nya Jim Carrey, mungkin karena gue pas kecil banget dulu pernah ngerasain satu gedung khusus buat bioskop dimana semua orang dateng emang buat nonton pelem itu, ngga kaya sekarang yang cineplex di dalem mall, ga dapet tiket ya shopping! Ga fokus dong ah! Gue suka nonton pelem di bioskop karena elo lebih terfokus perhatian elo, being in a darkened room gitu loh, immerse yourself for 2 hours or more, glued to the screen, staring at the magical world of films, kalo di kamar, yang entar elo nelpon gue lah, ato "Oooii! Matiin aer!", ato "Cucian sapa neeehh!", ato SMS, ato ada yang ketok-ketok di Yahoo, ga dapet soul-nya, apalagi nonton pelem di tipi, kepotong iklan!

(buuzzzz! Incoming calls)

- Satpam kali pacar elo, heran, dah tau elo jalan ama gue ngga bakal ngapa-ngapain!
+ Hahahaha, ya gitu deh, namanya juga cemburu ini, eh by the way, pernah ga ngalamin kejadian aneh-aneh pas nonton pelem?

- Kaya nungguin elo yang telat gituh?
+ Huahahahha, siyal! Ya ga kale, itu mah biasa, gue gitu loh, seleb ...

- Najesh! Hmmm ... Oh akhir taun lalu nih, gue ngebet banget ngejar nonton pelemnya Sean Penn gituh deh di Malaysia ...
+ Pelem apa?

- Ah jangan kesebut dulu dong! Gue mo bikin list Movies of the Year ntar!
+ Centil! Ya su, lanjut!

- Iye, tuh pelem maen lebih dulu daripada di sini, kiasu dong gue pagi-pagi kesana, pelem maen jam 11, gara-gara imigrasi laknat itu ngantrinya jam-jaman, gue nyampe sana ... 11.40! Asli deh gue langsung jutek seharian, Jer ama Val kaya dah capek nyenengin gue, gue dibawa ke Giant lah, maen bowling, gue teteup keukeuh berjutek! Sampe akhirnya pelem itu masuk sini bulan Februari, gue nonton ama si Jer dia cuman melotot sambil, "Puas elo?!" Hihihihi ... Tapi ga rugi kan gue, pelem nya bagus!
+ Huhuhuhuh ... Elo tuh yee, eh tapi denger-denger pas Singapur pelem festival kemaren ada cerita tuh ...

- Hah? Aaaahhhh, ciiisss! Koq elo tau seehhh?
+ Huhuhuhu ... Giling sih elo, waktu itu sama si (*sensor!*)

- Yo'eh, kan malemnya (*sensor!*)
+ Haaahhh? Jadi itu?? Iiihhhh, nistaaa, kan gue (*sensor!*)

- Huhuhu, dan besoknya gue nonton 4 pelem sajah! Jam 11 nonton pelem Spanyol, artisnya dateng padahal tapi dasar pelem gatot, teteup gatot, ga jelas, sok mau kaya Robert Altman! trus jam 2 nonton pelem Israel, then jam 4.30 kan nonton PELEM KITA BANGET itu lho, gue datengnya sembunyi-sembunyi lagi, kuakakakak ...
+ Hooaaa, PELEM KITA BERSAMA ituh, ah kayanya juga itu pelem semua orang yang kaya kita kali, kaya elo terutama! Hihihihi ...

- Ember! Terakhir sih jam 7 nonton pelem dokumenter mantan menteri luar negeri Amrik, ini bagus banget!
+ Masuk list elo taun ini dong?

- Liat aja nanti!
+ Deu dasar, eh by the way, heheheh ... Bayarin dulu dong ... Hohoho ..

- Eh dodol, gue belom gajiaaann ... Ggrrgghhhh ...