25 Years : A Space Odyssey

There's one particular thought that has been hanging on my mind for the past few weeks:

Isn't it funny, when we grow older, we always long for a space on our own, yet at the same time, we tend to get insecure with being alone?

Consider the former first.
Some people, or should I say parents, have this great ability in bearing their children to live on their own as soon as the necessity arises.
Hmmm ... can I consider myself as a lucky one here? :)
It was both a mutual decision made between me and my folks that I had to live by myself when I started enrolling my study in high school, and what followed was the addiction to make every single decision by myself, to take care of everything by these two tiny hands and feet, and to adapt and perceive new occurences by filters I created on my own.
So much so of the addiction to the extent that it may not be easy to adjust being together with my family again, yet, coming from the similar background as myself, my folks understand very well that their only son badly needs to be freed!
Here I am, it's been ten years.

And it surely has been ten years of not realizing the danger of the latter part. Or actually, being trapped in the comfort zone of achieving the former?

It will only be redundant if I repeat over the countless sources suggesting that insecurities come from ridiculous demands unconsciously set by ridiculous bunch of people claiming as respectable representative of society, or from unintentional pressures seeing our friends suddenly taking part of marriage rush! baby boom trend!

One can only wonder where the salary has gone at the month of wedding ceremonies ...

Again, my writings selalu tak berpangkal tak berujung, it's a matter of blurting out my thoughts and whatever

I feel like penning.

My dearie Onny,

The scene is on bus 61 on the way to our dimsum dinner at Bukit Timah.

...

"Tell me about it yah, Pal! Semua orang udah nggendong bayi, gue masih maen laki!"

"Huahahahaha ... Elo juga tuh ye! Nyari laki yang rada beneran napa, heran!"

"Yeah, gue pengennya dapet remaja mesjid, apa daya dapetnya yang naughty"

"Hihihihihi ... Dan dari semua laki elo, ga ada yang gue approve, kecuali yang terakhir ..."

"Gila! Haduh, ga mungkin banget gitu loh!"

"Kenapa ngga?"

"Elo tau sendiri lah!"

"Yeah ... Too bad!"

...

"Nie', isn't it funny, makin kita gede, makin kita pengen idup sendiri. But at the same time, berasa ngga sih makin insecure with being single?"

"Hahahahah, been there done that Pal, and I'm still doing it now."

"Guess Sex and the City doesn't even help yah."

"Hahahahaha..."

...

"So, ada rencana balik for good?"

(diam)

"Ngga tau Nie, I don't know what draws me to the city. Goodness, it's this little tiny island! Yet somehow, I feel more at myself here, I don't know, especially with me being me ..."

(ketawa bareng)

"Hahahaha .. Yeah, with YOU being YOU!"

"Yeah! Hahahahaha ..."

- Ella Fitzgerald is belting her rendition of How Long Has This Been Going On? And it couldn't be more perfect than this -