a song for my ex-es.

Acay, my dearly beloved housemate, once, in a slightly blatant manner, gave this horrifying statement about me:

"you’re such a romantic!"

Immediately I looked at him in return, somewhat confirming while disbelieving at the same time to what the effect the words might bring.

The very notion of being romantic as applied in a person would lead me thinking about how one responds to every single occurrence in his life. I imagine that he breaks down to sing while he complains about his boring life, the way Audrey Hepburn belts How Long Has This Been Going On? in the film Funny Face. He might also boast off his macho quality, only to turn meek within minutes the way John Travolta shifts from Summer Loving to Sandy in Grease. Or simply mimicking Gene Kelly when we fall in love by Singin' In The Rain. Talk about suffering (from flu) for love!

As you see, there are always songs to sing in every mood we unexpectedly encounter within ourselves in every day basis, or even every minute when one falls in love.

I certainly give my wholehearted vote for such a spontaneous activity.

When I set my heart on someone, my mind turns into a number of songs before I go to sleep while thinking about what the future might bring, and when I wake up in the morning, I will hum my way to the shower and to the kitchen for breakfast, and all the way while sitting on a bus, on the way to the office.

I told Kenny once that I always made a love-song compilation CD to all my ex-es, something I used to consider as a must when I began to embark on new relationships with them. The early euphoria stage of just-the-two-of-us-in-the-world, ah …!

Yet, the flame started fading away as the relationships began to dim, and the CD was hardly played anymore, or not even being mentioned towards the break-ups. What I just realized this morning is the fact that I seldom have a break-up song when the relationships ended.

I wonder if this is derived from the fact that, aptly enough, I don’t do ex-es in general? Or actually the very hard-pressed mental-block in me preventing my mind to come up with any romantic treatment towards my ex-es?

As much as I began with songs, I would love to end with songs as well.

Thus, at the wee hours of this morning, I set my ears on this beautiful song that has been my favorite for quite some time now, in particular to the version as sung by Lisa Ono. Little I realized then that the mere mention of the title can be applied as a bidding goodbye while wishing continuous prosperity of love to these dearly ex-es.

Thus, I wish them love.

To the one who has settled for good.

To the one who went on to become a lecturer, a story-teller, and now, an emerging filmmaker. Wow! I wonder if I did contribute a tiny weeny influence to your fulfilling life here.

To the bastard (hey, I’m only a human being!) who has been immortalized in my life as the single inspiration of my long-delayed book called How To Survive A Travelling Trip With Your Ex.

To the one who … I don’t know, somehow the existence of any adjectives, both good and bad, quickly diminish when I begin thinking of you. It was sweet all along, although hardly memorable. That’s the undeniable fact, dear, which I’m sure you understand more than I do.

But it seems that this song is best given to you, and I wish you endless happiness in return. Stay focused.

I Wish You Love

I wish you blue birds
In the spring
To give your heart
A song to sing
And then a kiss
But more than this
I wish you love

And in July
A lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I
Could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter
From the storm
A cosy fire
To keep you warm
But most of all
When snow-flakes fall
I wish you love

All kinds of love
I wish you love


Now, Komang-ers, you may explode in laughter. I’m done here.