so we spoke
on different tunes
yet the clout remains one
so we blurted out
of all the things hidden in the closet
litlle do we know that the have turned into skeletons
and you know it's time
to walkout
to roam
to venture
but haven't you grown attached to a soul?
there was a boy...
a very strange enchanted boy.
they say he wandered very far, very far
over land and sea,
a little shy and sad of eye
but very wise was he.
the greatness of you can only be preserved
by defined dignity
that should not be marred by your own doing
and then one day,
a magic day, he passed my way.
and while we spoke of many things,
fools and kings,
fhis he said to me,
"the greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return."
think again.
"the greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return."
think. before you leap.
Oct 10, 2005
Oct 8, 2005
Detik Terakhir.
if cornelia agatha is snubbed at the festival film indonesia (ffi) for best actress category, i should question the ability of the event's juries in determining good acting quality.
surely she does act and not to the extent of inhabiting the role yet, at least she has not reached the level of being her "regi" character by still maintaining her shampoo-advertisement hair while playing a highly drug-addicted junkie, but at the scope of acting as junkie, cornelia agatha does give a convincing portrayal in such a controlled manner that we are taken to believe the emotional availability she has as an actress in delivering the assigned duty very well. it is not much then that during her appearance in one of late-nite talk shows where she promoted her film, the host praised her by stating, "this is one of the closest portrayals of a junkie ever portrayed on a big screen."
i can't agree more, although it might be nicer if only the director would dwell more on scenes where she desperately longs for her drugs and convinces her dealer to forge the expenses. if only the director would like to spend some time watching leonardo di caprio in basketball diaries, then the same chilling effect can be reached through cornelia's embodiment to her character.
luckily, cornelia gets an equally good companion who manages to bring out their own best in every scene done together. playing in a more subtle manner, sausan excels in otherwise limited range of acting ability, yet the nature of her character allows her to show minimum effort to maximum result, and giving us no other option but to emphatize with her role here. i guess a nod for supporting actress will not be too much to give as a token of recognition.
however, the praises might stop at this point since cornelia and sausan are the only two elements in making this depressive film bearable and worth watching. i can't help but having a strong suspicion that they take their own initiative to act well for their own sake, without any necessary guidance from the director who might be busy arranging other elements to be put up nicely on the big screen, to some disappointing result. this might be repetitive, but a stereotype of how one gets involved in a hell-ride of drug taking is too often to be presented, and i was surprised to see this still comes out eventhough the writer of the novel in which the film is based on is invited on board to pen the script. either that, or the limited duration time hinders a deeper character development that would do good this film.
other than that, i am not going to comment on how i wish to see more of shanty in her relaxed presence here, or how i long for more lenient censor cut that abruptly butchers some of cornelia's scenes, but the bottomline remains to the fact that you might see this film to see a good school of acting, and set aside trivial errors as usually appear in any indonesian films.
surely she does act and not to the extent of inhabiting the role yet, at least she has not reached the level of being her "regi" character by still maintaining her shampoo-advertisement hair while playing a highly drug-addicted junkie, but at the scope of acting as junkie, cornelia agatha does give a convincing portrayal in such a controlled manner that we are taken to believe the emotional availability she has as an actress in delivering the assigned duty very well. it is not much then that during her appearance in one of late-nite talk shows where she promoted her film, the host praised her by stating, "this is one of the closest portrayals of a junkie ever portrayed on a big screen."
i can't agree more, although it might be nicer if only the director would dwell more on scenes where she desperately longs for her drugs and convinces her dealer to forge the expenses. if only the director would like to spend some time watching leonardo di caprio in basketball diaries, then the same chilling effect can be reached through cornelia's embodiment to her character.
luckily, cornelia gets an equally good companion who manages to bring out their own best in every scene done together. playing in a more subtle manner, sausan excels in otherwise limited range of acting ability, yet the nature of her character allows her to show minimum effort to maximum result, and giving us no other option but to emphatize with her role here. i guess a nod for supporting actress will not be too much to give as a token of recognition.
however, the praises might stop at this point since cornelia and sausan are the only two elements in making this depressive film bearable and worth watching. i can't help but having a strong suspicion that they take their own initiative to act well for their own sake, without any necessary guidance from the director who might be busy arranging other elements to be put up nicely on the big screen, to some disappointing result. this might be repetitive, but a stereotype of how one gets involved in a hell-ride of drug taking is too often to be presented, and i was surprised to see this still comes out eventhough the writer of the novel in which the film is based on is invited on board to pen the script. either that, or the limited duration time hinders a deeper character development that would do good this film.
other than that, i am not going to comment on how i wish to see more of shanty in her relaxed presence here, or how i long for more lenient censor cut that abruptly butchers some of cornelia's scenes, but the bottomline remains to the fact that you might see this film to see a good school of acting, and set aside trivial errors as usually appear in any indonesian films.
Dealova.
once in a while, comes a film worth every single piece of bad comment on the film's lack of good quality. the redundancy you may notice on the previous sentence is intended to create similar effect to the film.
if they think that indonesian film audience still has not gotten enough dose of brainless teen-flick, think again. the situation has reached the effect of feeding-the-beast, in which the audience soon need to be rushed for treatment of OD-ed by flood of nihilistic love story, whereas producers soon have to endure circle effect of being forced to start all over again in creating a new trend.
nevermind the story, you've read or seen it dozens of times before. in fact, spoilers are highly needed to decipher many unbalanced shots not supposedly presented on a big screen as they fit much better on a small screen. what we need to know is why the film seems to lack of direction.
a good director will not have scenes like a girl playing basketball in between three cars circling her moves, or a zoom-in to a packet of tissue, or some 30-second half-lit room where the character utters one single unimportant word.
a good director will think of more coherent logic to make a proper ending. modern literary audience who has consumed contemporary works of arts will not be satisfied with deus-ex-machina concept as it will only show the director's lack of vision and rushing to finish the story as soon as possible.
(if i see rudy soedjarwo laughing about the latter, i can only pity him since 'tentang dia' suffers from the same problem.)
now it is time for indonesian film producers to consider which films they need to show to the press, and which ones are not. after all, how do you expect to comment on this response from one of the reporters upon watching this film:
"oh, the film is awfully fun, i had a good time. seriously! you'd no idea how fun it could be to find many, and i mean many, scenes to bash throughout the entire film!"
it happened.
if they think that indonesian film audience still has not gotten enough dose of brainless teen-flick, think again. the situation has reached the effect of feeding-the-beast, in which the audience soon need to be rushed for treatment of OD-ed by flood of nihilistic love story, whereas producers soon have to endure circle effect of being forced to start all over again in creating a new trend.
nevermind the story, you've read or seen it dozens of times before. in fact, spoilers are highly needed to decipher many unbalanced shots not supposedly presented on a big screen as they fit much better on a small screen. what we need to know is why the film seems to lack of direction.
a good director will not have scenes like a girl playing basketball in between three cars circling her moves, or a zoom-in to a packet of tissue, or some 30-second half-lit room where the character utters one single unimportant word.
a good director will think of more coherent logic to make a proper ending. modern literary audience who has consumed contemporary works of arts will not be satisfied with deus-ex-machina concept as it will only show the director's lack of vision and rushing to finish the story as soon as possible.
(if i see rudy soedjarwo laughing about the latter, i can only pity him since 'tentang dia' suffers from the same problem.)
now it is time for indonesian film producers to consider which films they need to show to the press, and which ones are not. after all, how do you expect to comment on this response from one of the reporters upon watching this film:
"oh, the film is awfully fun, i had a good time. seriously! you'd no idea how fun it could be to find many, and i mean many, scenes to bash throughout the entire film!"
it happened.
Oct 7, 2005
definitely not for your ramadhan ...
... or maybe later on at nites?
whenever your availability is, i can't help noting this blog as one hilarious work of people who, apparently, have paid greater attention to being fashion police for celebrities in indonesia.
talking of such, it's funny how despite all the political incorrectness of privacy intrusion done by the so-called infotainment shows, nothing has been done in national scale towards commenting on how the celebrities dressy whenever they make public appearances. are we that late, again?!
so, my piece of words have made it clear, the blog below is worth visiting at your own risk :)
http://whodoyouthinkheare.blogspot.com/
to you two bitches, especially mpok jane for allowing me to get inside your truest identity, i've paid my due here. darn it, i should've picked up the clues at that time...
whenever your availability is, i can't help noting this blog as one hilarious work of people who, apparently, have paid greater attention to being fashion police for celebrities in indonesia.
talking of such, it's funny how despite all the political incorrectness of privacy intrusion done by the so-called infotainment shows, nothing has been done in national scale towards commenting on how the celebrities dressy whenever they make public appearances. are we that late, again?!
so, my piece of words have made it clear, the blog below is worth visiting at your own risk :)
http://whodoyouthinkheare.blogspot.com/
to you two bitches, especially mpok jane for allowing me to get inside your truest identity, i've paid my due here. darn it, i should've picked up the clues at that time...
Oct 6, 2005
unseen.
when you say, "God knows i'm trying",
does he know?
when you say, "God knows i've been crying",
does he see?
when you say, "God knows i was lying",
has he been aware of that?
or has he perceived whatever you have shown?
God only knows,
but he doesn't.
does he know?
when you say, "God knows i've been crying",
does he see?
when you say, "God knows i was lying",
has he been aware of that?
or has he perceived whatever you have shown?
God only knows,
but he doesn't.
Oct 5, 2005
some life as i know it.
mungkin ada yang berumah tangga seadanya beralas tikar dan koran.
mungkin ada yang terlelap di atas kasur berbusa beralaskan genangan air kolam.
mungkin ada yang terpaksa berhadapan langsung dengan raja singa dalam naungan langit malam.
mungkin ada yang berencana untuk angkat kaki dari dunia.
mungkin hidup berarti menghidupi lahir tanpa batin.
mungkin hidup adalah alat untuk melanjutkan eksistensi.
mungkin hidup terdiri atas alunan langkah di atas pasir yang tak pernah putih.
mungkin hidup akan sedikit jazzy dengan suara ella atau billie dalam alunan jobim.
mungkin saja aku terantuk dalam keteraturan, sedangkan
mungkin saja kamu terbuai dalam gelimang kepalsuan, padahal
mungkin saja kita semua sama lelahnya dan berkeringat darah, meskipun
mungkin saja mereka terjerembab dalam konsep yang terpatri dari dini.
mungkin ada begitu banyak pengharapan yang terurai dari secuil mimpi
mungkin ada begitu saja mimpi itu tanpa pernah disadari
mungkin ada begitu kita merebahkan penat diatas lembutnya harum bantal dan guling
mungkin ada hidup yang harus tersuapi.
mungkin ada yang terlelap di atas kasur berbusa beralaskan genangan air kolam.
mungkin ada yang terpaksa berhadapan langsung dengan raja singa dalam naungan langit malam.
mungkin ada yang berencana untuk angkat kaki dari dunia.
mungkin hidup berarti menghidupi lahir tanpa batin.
mungkin hidup adalah alat untuk melanjutkan eksistensi.
mungkin hidup terdiri atas alunan langkah di atas pasir yang tak pernah putih.
mungkin hidup akan sedikit jazzy dengan suara ella atau billie dalam alunan jobim.
mungkin saja aku terantuk dalam keteraturan, sedangkan
mungkin saja kamu terbuai dalam gelimang kepalsuan, padahal
mungkin saja kita semua sama lelahnya dan berkeringat darah, meskipun
mungkin saja mereka terjerembab dalam konsep yang terpatri dari dini.
mungkin ada begitu banyak pengharapan yang terurai dari secuil mimpi
mungkin ada begitu saja mimpi itu tanpa pernah disadari
mungkin ada begitu kita merebahkan penat diatas lembutnya harum bantal dan guling
mungkin ada hidup yang harus tersuapi.
Oct 4, 2005
stand.
to see you standing right in front,
and to have me standing behind,
to guard you should you fall,
to look over your towering figure,
driver's seat is made available for one.
and to have me standing behind,
to guard you should you fall,
to look over your towering figure,
driver's seat is made available for one.
blunders.
dulu, jaman es-em-a waktu saya sering ikut lomba-lomba sejenis cerdas cermat (and looking back now, i realized that i was some kind of freaking nerd!), guru-guru yang ngelatih saya selalu mastiin kalau saya dan temen-temen satu tim harus tenang waktu babak adu cepat. kenapa? kata mereka, kalau bikin satu kesalahan dalam situasi yang dikejar-kejar waktu seperti itu, maka kita akan cenderung melakukan banyak kesalahan lagi di soal-soal berikutnya, karena kita pikir kalo kita bakal dapetin nilai lebih banyak untuk mengurangi pengurangan nilai dari soal yang salah tadi.
dulu, saya ngga percaya, sampai pada akhirnya dalam satu kesempatan, hal itu benar-benar terjadi. walaupun begitu, juara ketiga akhirnya didapetin juga koq.
menginjak sedikit dewasa seperti sekarang ini, dalam hidup yang berasa berlalu cepat walaupun saya ngga dengan sengaja mengejar waktu, saya merasa semakin sering melakukan hal yang pernah saya lakukan di cerdas cermat itu: membuat kesalahan demi kesalahan yang dipicu dari satu langkah yang semestinya tidak diambil.
yang lebih parahnya, beberapa tahun terakhir ini saya seperti tersadar juga oleh sesuatu yang lain.
ketika saya sedang melakukan kesalahan dan bingung berikut menyesali kesalahan itu, maka selain melakukan kesalahan lain, saya pun akan bingung dan menyesali perbuatan-perbuatan lain yang mungkin sudah dilakukan di masa lalu, atau hal-hal yang sudah sedemikian lamanya tersimpan dalam hati, namun tidak pernah dikeluarkan sebelumnya.
blunders after blunders, mistakes after mistakes.
makanya, banyak orang bilang supaya berhati-hati ketika kita marah, karena kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut kita ketika marah bisa jadi adalah ungkapan perasaan yang sudah terpendam sekian lama dalam hati atau pikiran, dan ketika ada dorongan yang kuat dimana seluruh otot syaraf terkuras, maka pemikiran-pemikiran tersembunyi itu pun berhamburan keluar.
kalau anda pikir ini adalah tulisan biasa yang cenderung ikut-ikutan sejuta pesan massal menjelang bulan suci ramadhan, mungkin ada relevansi nya juga disana-sini. toh masalah interpretasi bukan hak saya untuk mengatur.
seperti layaknya tulisan lain, ini adalah sekedar ketikan jari tangan saya yang merefleksikan sedikit penyesalan atas begitu banyaknya kesalahan yang saya buat akhir-akhir ini, yang membuat banyak pihak merasa terabaikan, tersinggung, dan mungkin terhina.
saya minta maaf kalau saya pernah menyakiti. kalau tidak pernah pun, saya tetap minta maaf karena saya tahu bahwa saya tidak pernah dengan jelas mengungkapkan apa maksud saya bertindak tanduk seperti ini.
ah, tulisan ini juga tidak terlalu jelas :)
tapi ini pelajaran buat saya, dan semoga anda juga, bahwa pikiran yang terarah dan teratur dalam mengungkapkan perasaan adalah suatu anugerah Tuhan yang tidak gampang diraih, karena perlu begitu banyak waktu untuk terus berlatih.
dulu, saya ngga percaya, sampai pada akhirnya dalam satu kesempatan, hal itu benar-benar terjadi. walaupun begitu, juara ketiga akhirnya didapetin juga koq.
menginjak sedikit dewasa seperti sekarang ini, dalam hidup yang berasa berlalu cepat walaupun saya ngga dengan sengaja mengejar waktu, saya merasa semakin sering melakukan hal yang pernah saya lakukan di cerdas cermat itu: membuat kesalahan demi kesalahan yang dipicu dari satu langkah yang semestinya tidak diambil.
yang lebih parahnya, beberapa tahun terakhir ini saya seperti tersadar juga oleh sesuatu yang lain.
ketika saya sedang melakukan kesalahan dan bingung berikut menyesali kesalahan itu, maka selain melakukan kesalahan lain, saya pun akan bingung dan menyesali perbuatan-perbuatan lain yang mungkin sudah dilakukan di masa lalu, atau hal-hal yang sudah sedemikian lamanya tersimpan dalam hati, namun tidak pernah dikeluarkan sebelumnya.
blunders after blunders, mistakes after mistakes.
makanya, banyak orang bilang supaya berhati-hati ketika kita marah, karena kata-kata yang keluar dari mulut kita ketika marah bisa jadi adalah ungkapan perasaan yang sudah terpendam sekian lama dalam hati atau pikiran, dan ketika ada dorongan yang kuat dimana seluruh otot syaraf terkuras, maka pemikiran-pemikiran tersembunyi itu pun berhamburan keluar.
kalau anda pikir ini adalah tulisan biasa yang cenderung ikut-ikutan sejuta pesan massal menjelang bulan suci ramadhan, mungkin ada relevansi nya juga disana-sini. toh masalah interpretasi bukan hak saya untuk mengatur.
seperti layaknya tulisan lain, ini adalah sekedar ketikan jari tangan saya yang merefleksikan sedikit penyesalan atas begitu banyaknya kesalahan yang saya buat akhir-akhir ini, yang membuat banyak pihak merasa terabaikan, tersinggung, dan mungkin terhina.
saya minta maaf kalau saya pernah menyakiti. kalau tidak pernah pun, saya tetap minta maaf karena saya tahu bahwa saya tidak pernah dengan jelas mengungkapkan apa maksud saya bertindak tanduk seperti ini.
ah, tulisan ini juga tidak terlalu jelas :)
tapi ini pelajaran buat saya, dan semoga anda juga, bahwa pikiran yang terarah dan teratur dalam mengungkapkan perasaan adalah suatu anugerah Tuhan yang tidak gampang diraih, karena perlu begitu banyak waktu untuk terus berlatih.
Oct 3, 2005
in a nutshell ...
… or more?
qatar airways. 1 hour late. twinnie. kenny. spice garden. from imesh to jembi. warung kita plaza indonesia. fina, avin, bona, nuki. air asia. doel. mum. dad. hanna. garuda indonesia. mandiri executive lounge. dinner at jimbaran. gran melia nusa dua. legong dance. kuta market. uluwatu. hard rock. an issue or not an issue. legian. jogja-inspired sandals. pre-sunset expensive iced tea. a packet of nasi padang. hbo in hotel room. sukawati. cancer and its chemotherapy. wrong rooms. driving during heat. pecel kawi. dody and his confessions. bakso kota. mike and his ‘box’ car. nasi goreng pulosari. confetti part i. coffee shop hotel tugu. golda and becak. detik terakhir. sate ayam ponorogo. revisit lupus. confetti part ii. dealova. bakoel koffee cikini. the board game. the jb guy. men's health. pempek tim. bali blast. corpse bride. project shop. jeremy. oh la la and script. wedding crashers. nasi uduk kota. daily bread setiabudi. the deafening silence. white shoes and the couples company. the unseen cries.
here I am again.
qatar airways. 1 hour late. twinnie. kenny. spice garden. from imesh to jembi. warung kita plaza indonesia. fina, avin, bona, nuki. air asia. doel. mum. dad. hanna. garuda indonesia. mandiri executive lounge. dinner at jimbaran. gran melia nusa dua. legong dance. kuta market. uluwatu. hard rock. an issue or not an issue. legian. jogja-inspired sandals. pre-sunset expensive iced tea. a packet of nasi padang. hbo in hotel room. sukawati. cancer and its chemotherapy. wrong rooms. driving during heat. pecel kawi. dody and his confessions. bakso kota. mike and his ‘box’ car. nasi goreng pulosari. confetti part i. coffee shop hotel tugu. golda and becak. detik terakhir. sate ayam ponorogo. revisit lupus. confetti part ii. dealova. bakoel koffee cikini. the board game. the jb guy. men's health. pempek tim. bali blast. corpse bride. project shop. jeremy. oh la la and script. wedding crashers. nasi uduk kota. daily bread setiabudi. the deafening silence. white shoes and the couples company. the unseen cries.
here I am again.
Sep 25, 2005
what's a holiday?
... when the mind's not resting from thinking of many things, and concentrating on one thing that should have been the most comforting on the first place?
again, i am drawn to the confusion state of my silence, of my silent surrender that may not be seen or recognized, due to its passiveness (if there's such a word), and so much so to the extent that i may not recognize it myself.
what am i talking about here?
another random thoughts that i yet to decipher the original threads which hopefully would lead me, and take me away from the misery.
as they say, misery loves good company, yet somehow, this company of ours is strong enough to resist any incoming waves trying to hit our resistence.
can we?
will we?
again, i am drawn to the confusion state of my silence, of my silent surrender that may not be seen or recognized, due to its passiveness (if there's such a word), and so much so to the extent that i may not recognize it myself.
what am i talking about here?
another random thoughts that i yet to decipher the original threads which hopefully would lead me, and take me away from the misery.
as they say, misery loves good company, yet somehow, this company of ours is strong enough to resist any incoming waves trying to hit our resistence.
can we?
will we?
Sep 21, 2005
relax. rejuvenate. rehat.
i'm back, baby!
IAF was a blast, a journey of (slighly more than) one-year preparation finally paid off last saturday, 17 september 2005, a date that will not surely be forgotten among us, around-80-committee members of this show.
yet, allow me to take a step back for a while to evaluate and look back in retrospect, while indulging myself on the beautiful scent of my hometown.
i'll be back, baby! :)
IAF was a blast, a journey of (slighly more than) one-year preparation finally paid off last saturday, 17 september 2005, a date that will not surely be forgotten among us, around-80-committee members of this show.
yet, allow me to take a step back for a while to evaluate and look back in retrospect, while indulging myself on the beautiful scent of my hometown.
i'll be back, baby! :)
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- Nauval Yazid
- Jakarta, Indonesia
- A film festival manager. A writer. An avid moviegoer. An editor. An aspiring culinary fan. A man.