to forge ahead.

once my thoughtful friend told me,

"what is lebaran for?
it simply serves as a reminder,
that we do not need such a big day
to remind us that to forgive one's mistake is a habitual activity one must do on daily basis.
yet, there are days when the act of forgive itself is given a special treatment, put it under the spotlight,
to brighten the people who seek for a chance to be, well, known.

the same like valentine's day perhaps,
do you love your beloved partner or companion on the day itself?
i'm not going for that, definitely.
yet this is the day when what we usually do seems to be special."

i say on a different occasion,

"the artificial spirit has long gone.
no more excitement on getting new clothes,
no more hassle of being stuck on an endless traffic jam.

yet it feels more peaceful to be contented with myself, physically.
over insecurities i've been carrying with me, psychologically.

but when i sit down, chanting "allahu akbar wa lilla ilham" while looking at children next to me, holding tight a new piece of 1000 rupiah note, i can smell the scent of recently bought sarung he's wearing, i can see the bright spark of his eyes, knowing that soon he's gotta move around one big circle to say "maaf lahir batin" to his grandpa, grandma, aunties, uncles, mom, dad, and finally his fellow cousin.

let him enjoy this then, let him eat while he's asleep, let him roll in celebration."


whatever and whichever your hari raya may be, here's to forgive and forget the hatred, the slap and the bitchings, while to accept the serenity living with other human beings innocently, naively, wholeheartedly.

whoever says that lebaran is an easy festive season?