Guilty and Pleasure.

Now, if you combine those two words, ga perlu dijelasin lagi apa maknanya, but sometimes I find it funny how one can draw inspiration from what seemingly to be a corny, to some extent irritating, product, be it our encounters in film, arts, advertisement, food!, books, so many other indulgences whereby you can just dip yourself deep into it, and you're fine with that!
I myself can't help it sometimes to hum cheesy melancholy songs, or liking bad-review flicks, or drolling myself over Swensen's ice cream, but hey, they are sparks of life!

Again, what I'm gonna write will have nothing to do with all of them.

It's just an interesting piece of a phone conversation last nite.

...
"Satu pertanyaan terakhir sebelum tutup nih!"
"Apa?"
"Well, I don't know, this is some kind of question that a 15-year-old teenage girl would ask actually ..."
"Hahahaahah .. Emang apaan?"
"I don't know ... Do you think I am a bad person?"
"No! Big No! Capital NO!"
"Please ... "
"Hey, look at the way you are doing now despite what we've been through, you know ... Gak semua orang bisa kaya gini ..."
"Well, thanks, but it's not like a post-relationship, what about pre, and while in a relationship itself ... "
"Bentar .. bentar! Pernah nonton pelemnya Antonio Banderas itu ngga, yang di perkebunan ..."
"Antonio Banderas? Perkebunan? Apaan??"
"Aduh .. itu .. yang ama Angelina Jolie!"
"Ooohh .. "Original Sin"!" (dalam hati penulis: goodness! that horrible flick that I don't bother to waste my time?)
"Iya! Gue inget disitu dia bilang bedanya love ama lust. Love means the ability to sacrifice yourself with what you have, sementara Lust berarti elo mau merampas apa yang dimiliki orang laen itu demi kepentingan elo. Dan elo udah melakukan yang pertama. Elo udah berkorban banyak dulu ... (sensor!) ... elo udah mau nerima kenyataan, bisa move on sampe sekarang, dan gue bisa bilang kalo elo udah pernah merasakan love itu."
(terdiam)
"I don't know. Mungkin belum cukup."
...

Aku lupa bilang terima kasih semalam.

- to the paranoid one with such an undecisive manner which has become an inseparable part of my life-cyle, I dedicate Bic Runga's Sway -